Witnessing Silence

jesus-love-lightThe physical and emotional memories of the ear infections I got as a kid are now processing themselves.  It’s trauma and pain I’ve blocked out for most of my life, partly because those illnesses are a part of childhood, partly because I don’t want to remember what they were like.

But now, as an adult, after suffering through this season’s flu, I’m moving through a healing journey that is bringing up these old memories.

I don’t have a memory of my first ear infection, but I am sure if I did some deep bodywork, it might come up.  I remember all the ones that came after, because I knew what was in store for me:  Hours and hours of having terrible pain in my ears, loud and relentless sounds of the beating of my heart through my head.  The outside world would sound distant and far away.  I could hear sounds, but they were so muted.   I would feel locked in, alone and scared.  It was tough.  Each infection lasted days.  Mom helped, taking me to the doctor, getting the medications.  But the feeling of being shut out from the world, because I couldn’t hear, because I was in pain used to just bring me to a state of almost emotional detachment.  It was almost too much to bear each time.

Currently, I am left with a temporary hearing deficit at about 50 percent of what I normally hear following this recent illness.   The ear pain wasn’t as great as a before, but the silence that I am hearing is familiar territory.

Only now, with twenty plus years of a spiritual practice, the emotional detachment I am experiencing is actually a relief.

I could choose to grieve this loss or I can embrace it at part of a new experience.  I don’t know where it will lead, and I’m not fully recovered from my illness, so this all may resolve in a week’s time.  Or not.

I realize how much my senses have enabled me to navigate this reality.  Without full hearing, I have more freedom to actually move through the world.  I am spending less time having to interpret and figure out sounds, whether conscious or not.  There is a lot of noise in this world, I realize, and not being able to hear it all is quite peaceful.

I can hear people speaking  to me in person so that I can continue to do my work, to teach, to counsel, to assist.  Phone calls are harder.  The clarity of the voice is not there as it is in person.  Music is harder to tolerate because the note ranges are much flatter, and the familiar songs sound kind of ‘canned’ or ‘tinny’.  Live music seems better, the ability to ‘feel’ the sound helps me hear it better.

But I am newly walking in this more quiet world.  As I continue on this unexpected journey, I will be curious to see what other observations I witness and experience.

If you’ve had experience with an illness-induced hearing loss or any resources you think would be of assistance, please feel free to share.

Eileen Dey Wurst Copyright 2017

1 Minute Mind Cleanse

Losing Brain FunctionI invite you to take this time to go deep within.  Take a breath.  Honor this moment and this pause.  The world at large going on around you is still going on, regardless of how you feel about it.

I stumbled across a beautiful project that is a collection of positive words from around the world.  Take a look at some of these concepts.  They offer fresh perspective.

This is what you can control: what occupies your thoughts.  What is feeding your thoughts?  External stimuli?  How does it effect you in this moment.  Come back to that pause.

This is not a way of backing out of the reality that is our new world, our new America.  But it is to say, where are we focusing our energy on.  What are we getting obsessed about?  I write and post this on social media with the hope that you will read it and it can offer an opportunity for your own mind to take a break from all the other news articles, posts, rants and feelings that are swirling around you.

If you keep projecting out into the future you are technically ‘future tripping’.  It’s a very slippery slope.  You project your hopes, dreams fears out into the future and you start to make it so.  Thoughts are things.  With enough focus, you can eve create your own future with your thoughts.

So it’s very important at this time to have more purity of thought.  Meditation is one way to achieve this, as is self-Reiki.  Feeding the mind with other words, phrase, images.  It requires the act of unplugging from the main currents of information.

Words have vibration.  My hope is to create words that promote loving-kindness and offer a safe harbor from the other words, phrases and thought forms being generated at this time.

Special thanks to Dr. Loma’s project of postivie lexicography.

Photo credit  Copyright 2017 Eileen Dey Wurst

Releasing Ritual for 2017

binecuvantare

To transform old energy, I am writing down on slips of paper the things that were obstacles, challenges, frustrations and disappointments.  They go into the pile to be burned.  I’m not saying that I didn’t learn from those things, and will continue to learn from them, but they didn’t necessarily help the forward motion of light and love in the world.  So they are to get turned into something new that can be beneficial to the planet at this time.

For instance, I have had to deal with various mean-spirited and self-centered people this year who take no responsibility for lashing out and dumping their anger onto me.  Being the sensitive individual that I am, I can’t help but be effected.

I have spent my whole adult life as a counselor and Reiki practitioner cultivating compassion and being considerate, to the best of my ability.  However, when someone has been verbally abusive or expressing repulsive statements to me, that is not my responsibility to own.  I define my boundaries and witness their bad behavior from my own perspective.  This is my world, this is theirs.  I am sorry they have not had the opportunity, willingness or otherwise to see things in a different light, but I am not responsible for their bad behavior.

The following is a guideline for how I begin to transform the accumulated energetic debris through the release ritual:

1.  On one slip of paper I write what needs to be released from my energy field.  In this instance: ‘ Bad Behavior of Mean-Spirited Person/People’.

2. Then I say out loud: “I burn away your attempt to harm me and in it’s place I receive the Universal love and light and support that is Reiki”.  I burn the slip of paper.

3.  Finally, I say:  “Reiki has no judgement, it only honors and respects the practitioner and receiver.  I allow myself to receive that love and light. It is non-judgemental and only seeks to raise my vibration.  It does not take away from me but adds to my being.  In that I have the opportunity to move toward wholeness.  I promote my own self-healing.  I turn away from your direct attack and step aside into the flow.  In the flow is peace, truth, my essence.  These are eternal and nothing you can do or say can effect that integrity.  This is my power.  You cannot effect my essence.  I am a Divine Being of Light on this Planet and with that knowing of my own personal truth, you cannot prevent me from shining that into the world.  My choice is compassion and benevolence.  I bestow peace and love.  I bestow peace and love.  I am sorry you cannot see or honor that, but I walk the path released in that Truth.”

For each obstacle, disappointment or frustration that is still within my energy field (it’s an extensive inventory for the year, believe me!), I tailor steps 1-3 accordingly.

But as I’m doing the inventory, I might find that there were some of those things that were helpful after all, so they might just need further integration.  And of course, in doing the inventory, there are many things that contributed to light, love and abundance.

I write all these things, the things that still need integration or the things that were very positive on slips of paper and put them in a ‘Blessing Bowl’.  It’s a bowl I have made in mt pottery studio.  In the next year I will be creating bowls for purchase through my pottery studio.

Those statements in the Blessing Bowl receive the Divine Light of Reiko for the new year ahead and for greater transformation and evolution.

Copyright 2016 Eileen Dey Wurst

Creating more Playborhoods

playInspired by this article of the Playborhood concept for kids and neighborhoods, I am reminded of my own experience when I was a kid, growing up in Clifton, NJ, a suburb of Manhattan.

After school was spent over my friends’ house, 3 brothers: Mike, Daniel and Jeremy.  Their parents, Mr. and Mrs. Lee had devoted themselves to their children and creating an environment both inside and outside their home where their children and their friends could learn, discover and play.  They were teachers by profession and their love of children was palpable.

In their backyard, Mr. Lee had build a wooden fort, with a ladder to climb u to the top and in the ‘basement’ of the fort was a sandbox.

I remember spending hours in that sandbox in the summer, using a colander to sift the sand to make it as fine a powder as I possibly could.  I was and am always fascinated with texture, nature and the earth.

The brothers would join me for awhile, but they were more interested in climbing up and on the fort, or playing on the swingset nearby.

In the humid heat of a NJ summer, their outdoor pool was also a soothing retreat.

But it wasn’t just their backyard that was a playground on my street, our street itself, St. James Place, also became our world to kick ball, pop tar bubbles in the summer heat or roller skate down.

There were no ‘scheduled’ playdates, they just happened, after school or on the weekend.  We were pretty much left to our own devices.  Our parents would call us in for meals and such and of course, when it got dark, we were expected to be home.

But we had freedom to discover ourselves through play.

In the cooler months, we retreated inside their home to the basement rec room.  There were legos, building blocks, Lincoln logs and in the back room, Mr. Lee had set up his model railroad.

There was also an Apple computer with very early ‘video games’.  There was a haunted house game we would play, but the computer wasn’t the sole focus of what we did.  And of course, these were different times.  We weren’t hooked in to the internet.

It was more fun to create our own worlds with the other toys that we could get our hands on.

I am really grateful for that experience.  I wonder, those reading this, did you have a Playborhood growing up?

For less depression avoid politics

photo  I know tonight is the final presidential debate.  I would seriously advise avoiding watching the telecast or engaging in social media to keep your own emotional state in balance.

As a counselor, I have witnessed seasonal depression as the seasons change.  However, this year, it is magnified by the divisive politics our country is engaged in.

There are many other ways of learning about what has been going on politically, and I encourage reading rather than watching.

Watching TV broadcast of the debates or worse, edited versions blasted on social media goes directly into your subconscious.  The written word allows us to take time to digest.  Images are like an instant injection of both hatred and fear.

If you are already struggling with depression, or difficulties in life, please be mindful of your media consumption.

This is an extreme act of self-care, disconnecting from any direct and easy link to news.

Dearly Departed 10/30

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  • $25.00

    Sunday, October 30, 2016 – 6:00pm – 9:00pm

    In the time that we will have together, psychic medium Roman Delgado will open up to the energies of the departed and pass on messages of healing and closure from the other side to the audience.  Roman Delgado is a psychic medium with over 20yrs of experience working as a psychic. He has a strong background on the healing arts, shamanic healing and folk magical practices. His background colors his style to focus greatly on helping his clients find heal, closure and perspective.

    We will follow this special evening with a spooky Reiki circle!

    Price: $25.00. 5701 3rd Ave S

    Reiki RejuveNATION 2016

     

    There are so many amazing Reiki teachers and practitioners coming together for this first annual event starting this coming weekend!  Hope you can join us!  www.reikifellowship.comReikiNation

    Being a Healer in an Age of Unity

    Danes form Ring of Peace around Copenhagen synagogue

    As a helper and healer in the world, we are sensitive people, to both emotions and to the world we live in. The effects of the recent attacks on Paris and the mass shootings in the US have shaken a bit of my own confidence in humanity and for a world based on peace, rather than violence.
    I see this same emotional angst in many of the clients I serve. When I first went into private practice, it was in the year before 9/11. After that fateful day, I saw firsthand how clients were dealing not just with their own issues but with this greater problem, terrorism, now brought front and center into their psyche.
    Then, of course, there were all the wars we became involved in. I continued in my service work as counselor, Reiki practitioner and teacher to the public at large, but I felt a greater calling to offer help to those who were on the frontline.
    That lead me to approach the Veterans Administration to offer Reiki classes and sessions to veterans, as the war(s) to come I forsaw having many soldiers returning needing deep healing. My colleague Michael Emanuel and I taught many veterans throughout the years and this year we received actual funding for veterans to pursue Reiki practitioner or master training.
    It’s an accomplishment that came out of wanting to help heal a bruised and battered world.
    This time around, with the rise of Daesh, the Syrian crisis, the bickering and posturing of politicians over what to do, I’m feeling a calling to global healing work again.
    I am not a historian or a politician. I am a teacher and a healer, so those are the skills and abilities I continue to offer.
    The vision for this global healing work is still forming. Like my experience with the veterans, it continues to evolve.
    I was going to title this blog ‘Being a Healer in the Age of Terror’, but realized that the word ‘terror’ just reinforces itself. A key to dealing with the tragedies that occur in the world is to find a sense of unity. Reiki circles offer such a sense, a possible project could be organizing a day of Reiki circles across the country. Any volunteers? But I have other ideas just beneath the surface, and will give space for them to come forward. It all starts with a thought, then it can turn into a vision then it can become reality.
    But I welcome thoughts and opinions on how you might see healing work being of service during this next evolution in the Age of Unity.

    Image credit COPENHAGEN, DENMARK – MARCH 14: People of different faiths form a peace ring outside the synagogue where a Jewish security guard was shot last month in Copenhagen, Denmark on March 14, 2015. (Photo by Recep Yasar /Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

    The Semi-Permeable Membrane of Separation: Finding touch through technology

    semiWhen we are physically separated from a loved one, for an extended period of time, there is a feeling within of loss. The routine of connection has been disrupted. There is vacant space in the moments once filled by presence.
    And yet, they still exist in the world, living and breathing. The connection is still there, despite lack of words or direct emotion.
    It reminds me of the experience of when a loved one physically dies, the same detachment from presence, yet with those experiences, I still feel connection.
    When my grandmother died, although deeply sad, I felt her transition. We had lived in separate parts of the country for years, with some visits in person. But we had cultivated a relationship despite lack of physical presence. We spoke on the phone, we wrote letters. We held each other in our thoughts. She never used social media, so we ‘touched’ each other in the ways she knew the best.
    Now it is I that hold her in my thoughts. I don’t know what or where her soul has gone, but her impact on my life remains within me. When I think of memories with her, they make me smile, they make me cry, they validate who I am and who I was through my life.
    But most of the living beings we know and love whom we are separated from have a sort of semi-permeable membrane through which we can connect called technology. Whether that is by phone, text, email or social media, it is a way of maintaining touch through this medium.
    Yet, the substitute can be two-dimensional. What adds the third dimension? I think it is love, laughter and light.
    These three elements can only be ‘shown’ through actions rather than automatic responses.
    For instance, I’m a fan of friends leaving comments on the Facebook posts I make rather than just ‘liking’ everything. What do they think about it? What does it bring up for them? Those comments add a 3rd dimension.
    Yet, we default to what is easiest, perhaps even what feels ‘safe’. If we comment on the social media membrane, we are letting ourselves be heard, be witnessed, be vulnerable.
    Friends and family at a distance connect through these membranes, but if we were in person, would we really ‘like’ everything that is said? Wouldn’t that just be boring?

    I am a writer and a counselor, so words are my tools I work with every waking moment.  It’s how I find meaning in the world, it’s how I keep touch on others and where they are.  Feedback is my lifeline.
    So, like with this blog, I always welcome comments.

    Copyright 2015 Eileen Dey

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