Finding the courage to speak out

I was immensely shy as a child.  Many adults and other kids overwhelmed my sensitivity, so clamming up and being quiet, was one way of directing attention away from me.

As I grew into my teens and switched from private to public school, certain aspects of that incredible shyness began to thankfully dissipate.

As a teen, I wasn’t developmentally at a place to cultivate ‘inner wisdom’, so I worked on the exterior-fashion, outrageous hair colors, allegiance to rock bands, etc.

As I was seen in these identities, people wanted to hear me.  Hear what I had to say.  So I started sharing who I was at the time with those that wanted to listen.  It was extremely liberating.

But as fashions and fads change, so did I, and relying on the exterior to dictate who I was didn’t work any longer.

That desire for the truth of who I was lead me to Reiki.  The alchemical inner process that happens through dedicated spirituality burned away that which was fake and left in it’s wake the truth and integrity of my whole being.  That’s no small affair.

Each class I have taught over this last decade has been an exercise in declaring that integrity.  In speaking out to the world about what I have come to know as unyielding truth.

When you put yourself out into public, you have to be courageous.  But not in a higher-than-thou fighting-the-lions way.

I find that when I speak from my heart, the truth is conveyed.  Not everyone wants to hear that.  I’ve received criticism, judgement, and skepticism toward my work and who I am.

Sometimes I engage in dispute, sometimes I let it pass by.

Reiki is not a fad.  It’s a path and a way.  One part of me that has found the courage to speak out to the world.  Relying on that, I am muted no more.

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