Getting out of the way of your old Self
- Coming to a place of forgiveness and/or acceptance.
It might be impossible for you to forgive your parents for what they have done or not done in the past. An important step in your own healing as well as that of your family is to come to a place of acceptance. Yes, the hurt occurred, it was terrible, you wish it hadn’t. Perhaps you can finally speak your truth and let your feelings and thoughts be known.
Robert was a Reiki student of mine for many years. He went through Reiki practitioner training and during that process, began to recall elements of what he suspected to be physical and mental abuse from his father when he was a child.
I referred him to a therapist to work on these issues but continued to train him through other levels and classes in Reiki.
Robert told me the ‘year of his discovery’ was the most difficult, but through therapy and working on himself with Reiki, he was finally able to schedule a visit with his father where he had an honest conversation about some of what he had recalled.
He shared that his father did not agree to all of his son’s recollections, but because they had ‘the conversation’, some healing had begun to occur.
Acknowledgement can eventually lead to acceptance, and that seemingly simple act will move mountains. When we acknowledge feelings we move energy. It’s no longer stagnant. From that place the movement towards healing can occur.
2. Making space for your parent’s reflections.
Your parents may have their own reflections on the past. Just as you have changed over the last 30 years, so have they, physically, mentally, perhaps even spiritually. Personality traits seem to last through life, but maybe in having honest dialogue a new relationship can emerge, as evidenced by Robert’s own story.
3. Creating a new relationship.
As Robert completed his Reiki master apprenticeship, he reflected a year after confronting his father, that the two were now on ‘different terms’ than they had been in the past. Robert felt he was able to share more with him and to accept the limits of where his father was unable to go.
As parents get older, another scenario may emerge and you may be forced into a new relationship where you are now the caregiver for your previous caregivers. Just as becoming a parent of a newborn thrusts one into a new role, so this shift will bring about the potential for new growth.
You may also find that with your parents getting older, they have other health complaints that now place them into a situation where they are more likely to receive. Enter Reiki. It truly is an ‘energetic glue’ that can assist in helping to bond that which has been broken.
Thank you for following the story!