The spirit of dolls

Not all dolls have spirits, but the ones that do, you can’t help but notice.  Yesterday I found a little harvest fairy sitting on the shelf of a store.  She seemed to say to me, “Don’t leave me here, take me home!”  I’ve had this experience twice in the last few months and the dolls have been the only things I’m purchasing, so I tend to make up a story for the cashier, like, “This is for my niece”, but in reality, they are coming home with me.

So the little fairy decided she like hanging from my rear view mirrors in my car, saying “I can finally fly!”

The other doll, much larger, is a chicken in a farm dress, who told me her name is ‘Beatrice’ and that she would be happier being in my home watching the comings and goings of my cats and the clients and students who come to the sanctuary.

Now, I know for some reading this, you think, ‘Uh, oh, Eileen is starting to lose it’, and I’ll let you know, I often question my sanity when I hear these dolls talk to me.

However, in defense of my sanity, I’ve talked with several shamanic counselors who have reassured me I’m just tapping in to the ‘spirit’ of the dolls.   They say that whether it was the person who made them (both dolls are handmade), or the previous owner, or the archetype of what the doll is, there can be a sentience that exists in what on the outside just looks lifeless.

I also realize it might just be me tapping into my  inner child.  When I was a kid, I had many dolls from all over the world.  Some of them definitely had personalities and distinct  preferences of where they wanted to be in my room and who they wanted to play with.  For a child, we give permission for this ‘imaginative play’.  For an adult, well, we tend to regard this with suspicion.

I think Beatrice, my sentient stuffed chicken, keeps me company when I am working from home.  I think the fairy, who told me her name is Meredeth, is the part of me that wants to get out and see the world.  But I am far from what I’d call crazy.

I recently had a productive dialogue in my Reiki 2 class about the concept of being ‘crazy’ vs. being ‘sane’.  From my point of view as a counselor, a mental state turns pathological, or ‘crazy’ when an individual is unable to detach from the experience of the illusion or delusion they are experiencing.  They are attempting to make the unreal real.

Sane, is acknowledging the unreal, but not getting attached or enmeshed into it. Basically, sanity is the ability to travel into these unusual states and have varying experiences, but afterward, come back to reality.   So, I have dolls that have ‘talked’ to me.  I don’t live by their rules, seek out guidance from them, or treat them as if they were a family member, etc.  They are humorous additions to my world.  I let them go at the end of the day, but, I realize that their presence, or maybe, as the shamans say, their ‘spirits’ give me some kind of comfort and reassurance.

At the end of the day, I’d have to say, having sentient dolls reminds me not only of my inner child, but of the magic that was there and that still does exist, through Reiki, through mystery, and the wonderful ability of having creativity and imagination.

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