Dealing with loss

Every day we lose a day of life.  I’m not being negative, just realistic.  And some days, we lose a lot more, faith in a ‘system’…we might get fired,we run out of money, we have to move, our relationship ends, a friend dies.

How each person copes with loss is quite different.  I met a friend’s co-worker, Rob, who looked at loss as a refreshing new way of seeing the world.  Instead of bemoaning that ‘oh the world is a mess and coming a part’, he looked at it as another opportunity for things to arise.

I think that’s a positive way to put a spin on the inevitable.  I can’t also think it’s a bit of denial, but that’s my counseling spin.

I’m not always so positive, and often, loss for me feels really deep and hurts my heart and the only way I know how to ‘give space’ for it, is just that…give space, give time, and if necessary, do some art to help the process.

A client of mine recently passed on into the next world.  I knew this was going to happen for some time, and worked through a lot to let go of him and my attachment to his own process.

It’s doubly challenging currently living in a city (LA) that embraces everything worth living:  art, culture, life, youth, beingness.

So how to work through this?  Well, for one, I have a lot to live for and want to achieve.  It’s a motivation.  Motivation is energy that expands.  I allow that expansion to being to take shape.

And, I also acknowledge what has now passed on.  An amazing person who contributed much to the world and who suffered immeasurably until the end.

My client asked me as he was ‘leaving’, ‘What is the meaning of life?’, and we both had to laugh, because it’s such an eternal question that I’m not sure ever gets answered truthfully.

My hope is that when we do go to the next world, we get a bit of that insight, and realize that on this plane, it’s just a question, and the statement is only words attempting to give answers to that which is unknown.

But even that question, ‘what is the meaning of life?’ brings me back to my own world.  Does it have meaning?  Yes.  Do I feel I am fulfilling that meaning?  Yes.  So that’s a good start in dealing with this loss.

Having meaning is actually a ‘gain’, because it’s a way of filling our wells, giving us hope and dreams, and not to be cliché, giving us the stuff that life is made of.

And so it is.  And so it shall be.  Sending light into the beyond for my client’s journey toward finding his own meaning and making peace where there was none.

Photo credit


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. gilitimusChuck Lane
    Feb 16, 2012 @ 12:47:09

    What an awesome article and photo.

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