Creating healthy, new friends

creationThis year, for me,  has seen the dismantling of several friendships.  Many occupied a significant part of my world at one time. But, I realized how much many of them were standing in the way of what I really needed to focus on:  cultivating a supportive, diverse and healthy friend network.

Being busy and engaged for much of the last 10 years, I’ve been  building my practice and healing arts school.  I’ve taught and befriended numerous radiant souls, getting to know many as friends and colleagues.

But outside of those Reiki circles, we go on our own way.  There is no ‘let’s hang out’, go to the movies, etc. unless it’s a planned event related to Reiki.

That’s been the model, established by me years ago, because I felt as an individual’s Reiki teacher, I often crossed the line into being their counselor and confidant and building a deep friendship with students just made the waters that much murkier.

Unfortunately,  over the years, there have been a few exceptions, where I did become closer to my former students.  But what has happened is that by starting friendships in this way has often ended them through misinterpreted intentions, unrealistic expectations, jealousy and conflict.   Yuck.  It’s why I realize this model, of cultivating close friendships amongst my students just doesn’t really honor anyone in the long run.
So….other than my relationship with my significant other, I don’t have many close friends, or friends who are not related to Reiki.  I’m working on expanding this. I have to.  My social network is going through an intense evolution.
I’m taking classes in drawing, attending meet-ups that interest me and volunteering extra time with non-profits…but, this all takes time..and patience.I’m determined that by the end of 2013, my social support network will be alive and kicking, maybe even before then.

In the meantime, I’m aware of how quiet it is in my world, day in and day out.  But this quiet feels like a womb, and in that place, my intention is gestating.

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Copyright Eileen Dey 2012

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