Witnessing Silence

jesus-love-lightThe physical and emotional memories of the ear infections I got as a kid are now processing themselves.  It’s trauma and pain I’ve blocked out for most of my life, partly because those illnesses are a part of childhood, partly because I don’t want to remember what they were like.

But now, as an adult, after suffering through this season’s flu, I’m moving through a healing journey that is bringing up these old memories.

I don’t have a memory of my first ear infection, but I am sure if I did some deep bodywork, it might come up.  I remember all the ones that came after, because I knew what was in store for me:  Hours and hours of having terrible pain in my ears, loud and relentless sounds of the beating of my heart through my head.  The outside world would sound distant and far away.  I could hear sounds, but they were so muted.   I would feel locked in, alone and scared.  It was tough.  Each infection lasted days.  Mom helped, taking me to the doctor, getting the medications.  But the feeling of being shut out from the world, because I couldn’t hear, because I was in pain used to just bring me to a state of almost emotional detachment.  It was almost too much to bear each time.

Currently, I am left with a temporary hearing deficit at about 50 percent of what I normally hear following this recent illness.   The ear pain wasn’t as great as a before, but the silence that I am hearing is familiar territory.

Only now, with twenty plus years of a spiritual practice, the emotional detachment I am experiencing is actually a relief.

I could choose to grieve this loss or I can embrace it at part of a new experience.  I don’t know where it will lead, and I’m not fully recovered from my illness, so this all may resolve in a week’s time.  Or not.

I realize how much my senses have enabled me to navigate this reality.  Without full hearing, I have more freedom to actually move through the world.  I am spending less time having to interpret and figure out sounds, whether conscious or not.  There is a lot of noise in this world, I realize, and not being able to hear it all is quite peaceful.

I can hear people speaking  to me in person so that I can continue to do my work, to teach, to counsel, to assist.  Phone calls are harder.  The clarity of the voice is not there as it is in person.  Music is harder to tolerate because the note ranges are much flatter, and the familiar songs sound kind of ‘canned’ or ‘tinny’.  Live music seems better, the ability to ‘feel’ the sound helps me hear it better.

But I am newly walking in this more quiet world.  As I continue on this unexpected journey, I will be curious to see what other observations I witness and experience.

If you’ve had experience with an illness-induced hearing loss or any resources you think would be of assistance, please feel free to share.

Eileen Dey Wurst Copyright 2017

Spiritual insurance to enhance health

This weekend I had the opportunity to receive a Tibetan Buddhist healing session called Chöd.  It’s an ancient practice performed by monks and students to remove spiritual obstacles and negative influences in the body and mind.  It also helps to release past karmic patterns.

I found the ceremony quite beautiful and noticed a lightness of my being as well as a shift in perspective of what truly honors and supports my life and work in the world.

The Tibetan Healing Chö School offers what I would consider ‘spiritual insurance’ for those who are interested in receiving these benefits.  Here are the details:


We can now participate in this unique opportunity, not available anywhere else in the world. By creating and submitting an Identity Packet (described below), your energy signature will be placed on the shrine at the Sangey Teng Monastery in Bhutan, to participate in all Chöd and other healing rituals. Last year, over 80 people participated in the program and have experienced a wide variety of positive and lasting effects in their lives.

  1. Healing Chöd meditation rituals are done 1 to 3 times per week, as well as one full day ritual per month.
  2. This means a minium of 60 healing rituals per year (but as many as 150!).
  3. It also means inclusion in annual 10-day Drupchen of Shinjé, Vajrakilaya, Troma or Hayagriva (this depends on the decision of Tsewong Rinpoche).
  4. There is also inclusion in all other daily Sang rituals, Protector practices and so on!
  5. In order to participate, follow the following guidelines and submit the following.
  6. Requested donation for this precious, ongoing healing is $200 for a  full year of Tibetan Healing Chod and associated rituals ($4 per week!).
  7. These funds are for the support of the Lamas, monks and three-year retreatants in this very remote, small monastery, founded by Sangye Lingpa in the 16th century.

How to create an Identity Packet for Tibetan Healing Chod:

  • Use a recent photo, approximately 4 x 6 inches (on photo paper is best).
  • On the reverse, put your birth name and birth date.
  • On the reverse tape a SINGLE STRAND of HAIR.
  • Also tape a SMALL square of clothing (1 or 2″ square).. Could be a label.
  • This must be from some unwashed piece of clothing you have worn.
  • Send to us, along with your address and email.
  • Enclose a  check for the annual fee, payable to TIBETAN HEALING CHOD.


  • Payment can also be made via Paypal ($206.00)
  • For second year participants, the cost is reduced to only $125 for the full year of healing!
    to lamajinpa@tibetancho.com

We will be bringing all new Identity Packets to Bhutan in JULY, 2012 and after that, not again for about 6 months.

For details and information visit the school’s website here.

Photo and copy credit.

Monk photo

Reiki for Inner Peace to balance Outer Chaos

The world still needs a lot of love and peace.  Looking at latest headlines, Violence in Syria’s Capital Even With a Cease-Fire, Pakistan test-fires a nuclear capable missile and yet at the same time a bomb has gone off at a train station in that country.

I’d like to dedicate tomorrow’s Distant Healing Group from 10-11am PST on 4/25 to cultivating Inner Peace in helping to deal with and balance outer chaos.  We did this last month and it’s a good time to repeat the intention.

I’d like to keep the whole hour as a time of meditation and sending healing energy to our own selves, families and communities with the intention of restoring an inner sense of calm.  Whether  you tune in for ten minutes or the whole hour, cultivate peace within.

From this center, waves can ripple outward, like a stone dropped in a pond.

Cultivating inner peace asks us also to look at and let go of those beliefs, habits and thoughts that don’t serve us or our relations.  What is getting in the way of a life of harmony?

Maybe it’s as simple as not having a morning cup of coffee to over stimulate our nervous system so that we are on ‘edge’ all day.  Maybe it’s saying kind words to our partners and friends, showing grattitude toward them instead of animosity.

Maybe it’s also about having loving thoughts for oneself, rather than judgements about what’s not ‘right’ with one’s body:  too fat, too thin, too old, etc.  Being ok with who you are just for that hour.

Also, looking at the judgements imposed on others, and for that hour, finding connection, rather than controversy in how we perceive the world.

If you have any thoughts during the session, you can post to my wall on FB.  To join the schedule of other distant healings, you can sign up on our meetup group.

See you tomorrow in the light!


Photo credit

Letting go of the need to get it all done

Like most everyone, I’ve got that long list of To-Do’s.  The beginning of the week is always the start of checking off that list.  But when the list keeps growing at the same frequency of your checking-off, that’s when you have a choice, either action or non-action.

So, I’m doing an experiment of letting go of the things that need what I think is attention.  This is a big step for me.  My modus operandi tends to be action, action, and then, more action, mixed in with a bit of reflection.

But I’m looking at that list.  It’s just too big for any one person to try and accomplish.  I’ve delegated where I am able to, met the deadlines I’m accountable for..but the other pieces, well, like the sands of time, I just won’t be able to get to them.  They are going to fall away.

This includes the self-imposed list of daily exercise, watching the diet, keeping in touch, keeping current with the news and running a household.

I’m not saying I’m letting all of it go, but some of it, for now, has to stand aside.  And with that decision comes a sense of freedom, of space, a breathing space.

I take a really, really looooonnng breath.  And again.  And another one.

Did those other things really need to be on the list in the first place?  Who imposed that law?

I remember when I went through the Artist’s Way process the first time, the author of that book, Julia Cameron questioned students on the path, did they really need to make their beds in the morning?  Were they still doing that ritual as adults for some other reason besides having a ‘nice’ looking bedroom?  (i.e.  hoping to get the approval of their parents, guardians, siblings?)

So long ago I stopped making my bed in the morning unless I felt like having it all neat helped me.  Sometimes it does, when I work from home, having things ‘in order’ helps my thought process.  Other times, it makes no difference.

But for the rest of that to-do list, I’m tossing it aside.  Like I said, it’s a bit of an experiment.  Let’s see what happens.  How chaotic things will get remains to be seen.  But I’m not afraid of chaos.  Or disorder.  Bring it on.

For now, for this moment, I’m not engaging in all things expected.  I choose that over trying to fit it all in.


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