Witnessing Silence

jesus-love-lightThe physical and emotional memories of the ear infections I got as a kid are now processing themselves.  It’s trauma and pain I’ve blocked out for most of my life, partly because those illnesses are a part of childhood, partly because I don’t want to remember what they were like.

But now, as an adult, after suffering through this season’s flu, I’m moving through a healing journey that is bringing up these old memories.

I don’t have a memory of my first ear infection, but I am sure if I did some deep bodywork, it might come up.  I remember all the ones that came after, because I knew what was in store for me:  Hours and hours of having terrible pain in my ears, loud and relentless sounds of the beating of my heart through my head.  The outside world would sound distant and far away.  I could hear sounds, but they were so muted.   I would feel locked in, alone and scared.  It was tough.  Each infection lasted days.  Mom helped, taking me to the doctor, getting the medications.  But the feeling of being shut out from the world, because I couldn’t hear, because I was in pain used to just bring me to a state of almost emotional detachment.  It was almost too much to bear each time.

Currently, I am left with a temporary hearing deficit at about 50 percent of what I normally hear following this recent illness.   The ear pain wasn’t as great as a before, but the silence that I am hearing is familiar territory.

Only now, with twenty plus years of a spiritual practice, the emotional detachment I am experiencing is actually a relief.

I could choose to grieve this loss or I can embrace it at part of a new experience.  I don’t know where it will lead, and I’m not fully recovered from my illness, so this all may resolve in a week’s time.  Or not.

I realize how much my senses have enabled me to navigate this reality.  Without full hearing, I have more freedom to actually move through the world.  I am spending less time having to interpret and figure out sounds, whether conscious or not.  There is a lot of noise in this world, I realize, and not being able to hear it all is quite peaceful.

I can hear people speaking  to me in person so that I can continue to do my work, to teach, to counsel, to assist.  Phone calls are harder.  The clarity of the voice is not there as it is in person.  Music is harder to tolerate because the note ranges are much flatter, and the familiar songs sound kind of ‘canned’ or ‘tinny’.  Live music seems better, the ability to ‘feel’ the sound helps me hear it better.

But I am newly walking in this more quiet world.  As I continue on this unexpected journey, I will be curious to see what other observations I witness and experience.

If you’ve had experience with an illness-induced hearing loss or any resources you think would be of assistance, please feel free to share.

Eileen Dey Wurst Copyright 2017


Doubting oneself

260d01ccd6caff276bcf07a8b3240062I often hear from students and practitioners of Reiki, ‘Am I doing enough?’ or ‘Is the Reiki doing anything?’.  These are great questions to have.  They imply a state of ‘not-knowing’, which is exactly where you want to be with Reiki, you don’t want to be an ‘expert’.  As George Iles says, “Doubt is the beginning and not the end of wisdom”.

Let’s first take the second one, “Is the Reiki doing anything”.  We get used to ‘feeling’ the heat, tingling, pulsing, vibration, etc. of Reiki and when it’s not there we panic.  Aaah!  What happened?  What did I do wrong?


Reiki is not contingent on you feeling anything.  Because it’s not about you.  Greater than you by many galaxies.  So the fact that you, humble human practitioner don’t feel anything, well, don’t take it personally.

“But, my client isn’t feeling anything either”, you might contest.  Again, Reiki doesn’t care.  But I’d beg to differ that your client isn’t feeling anything at all.  If you have practiced Reiki, your client has probably been able to have some time being held unconditionally in quiet space and self-reflection.  At a minimum, there has been a decrease in stress and external stimuli.  Perhaps even a greater degree of relaxation.

Reiki, regardless of feelings or sensations, always, without fail, in my 18+ years of observation and practice, offers s bit of sanctuary.

But I’m not an ‘expert’.  However, I do have some experience.

Ok, let’s get back to that first question, “Am I doing enough?”.  The practice of Reiki asks that you be a humble conduit, a compassionate witness and a holder of healing space and intention while respecting the boundaries of your client.  If you are do that, you are doing enough.

But you might feel you need to do something more:  give advice, make some magical sensation happen, make loud noises or big gestures.  STOP!  That’s not Reiki and it’s not needed.

Put that ego away.  There’s no need for that in Reiki.  Drop into your heart and leave your head/mind out of the picture.  Offer healing for the highest and best good.

Give any doubts you have over to Reiki, as an offering.  You’ll realize your silent presence is as much the gift as the flow of unconditional Universal Energy.

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Copyright 2013  Eileen Dey


Healing our Inner War

Whenever I see violence in the outer world it reminds me as humans we still have much work to do on the inner wars that confront us.  This outer manifestation is a symptom for the discord that rumbles in the mind and soul.

Yesterday’s violence in the Seattle May Day protest was felt throughout this fair city.   It’s a reminder of the continuing unease felt downtown.

It made me feel quite sad and despondent because the phenomena isn’t just in my town, it’s really everywhere in the world, bubbling underneath, simmering…and when opportunities are right, that violence shows it’s harsh face.

Tomorrow’s distant Reiki group provides and opportunity to work on our own inner conflicts and discords, from difficulties in relationships with others as well as our own anxieties and frustrations with our personal limitations and perceived flaws.

Cultivating inner peace truly ripples across time and space and effects others in our vicinity.  From there, hope is possible in creating a more peaceful world.  May Day is a celebration of spring, but perhaps the words also stand for ‘Mayday!’.  It’s time to respond to the call for help.  Work on healing the inner war so that outer violence can truly be transformed.

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History and effect of Earth Day

The idea came to Earth Day founder Gaylord Nelson, then a U.S. Senator from Wisconsin, after witnessing the ravages of the 1969 massive oil spill in Santa Barbara, California. Inspired by the student anti-war movement, he realized that if he could infuse that energy with an emerging public consciousness about air and water pollution, it would force environmental protection onto the national political agenda. Senator Nelson announced the idea for a “national teach-in on the environment” to the national media; persuaded Pete McCloskey, a conservation-minded Republican Congressman, to serve as his co-chair; and recruited Denis Hayes as national coordinator. Hayes built a national staff of 85 to promote events across the land.

Here’s a video of the event:  http://video.app.msn.com/watch/video/first-earth-day-april-22-1970/17wfydxvn

As a result, on the 22nd of April, 20 million Americans took to the streets, parks, and auditoriums to demonstrate for a healthy, sustainable environment in massive coast-to-coast rallies. Thousands of colleges and universities organized protests against the deterioration of the environment. Groups that had been fighting against oil spills, polluting factories and power plants, raw sewage, toxic dumps, pesticides, freeways, the loss of wilderness, and the extinction of wildlife suddenly realized they shared common values.

Earth Day 1970 achieved a rare political alignment, enlisting support from Republicans and Democrats, rich and poor, city slickers and farmers, tycoons and labor leaders. The first Earth Day led to the creation of the United States Environmental Protection Agency and the passage of the Clean Air, Clean Water, and Endangered Species Acts. “It was a gamble,” Gaylord recalled, “but it worked.”


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Riding the Road of the Fibonacci Sequence

The new TV show ‘Touch’ is about to give viewers another perspective on how spiritual principles interact in daily life.

One of the characters uses the Fibonacci Sequence to explain when and how things are going to happen.

“The Fibonacci sequence is a never ending string or series of integers posited by Leonardo of Pisa (a.k.a. Fibonacci) in 1202 that begin at zero and, taking the next number in sequence (1), is found to have a special binary progression where each successive integer is found to be the sum of the previous two. (For example: 0,1,1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, and so on.) In that progression, the Fibonacci numbers keep a ratio that can be realized in a spatial pattern that resembles a spiral emanating from a central point, much like the spiral found in sea shells, the arrangement of stems on a plant, and in the spiral of a spinning galaxy.

“Touch” is a multi-layered drama about a father’s love for his son that plays upon the idea of human interconnectedness and that everything happens for a reason. It entertains the idea that in an increasingly crowded world, it is important that people reach out to each other and connect. And although the show works along the lines that a higher purpose exists, it is not a predetermined pathway that is  immutable. Things can happen to throw off the cosmic balance.”The Appeal of ‘Touch’ — Where The Fibonacci Sequence Connects Us All | HULIQ.

I’m always excited when mainstream media begins another series or show to emphasize such principles.  They are tools to help us navigate the rough road of life and offer solutions in creative and inspiring ways.  Kudos to the Fox network for offering this series to viewers!

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Reiki for Inner Peace to balance Outer Chaos

The world still needs a lot of love and peace.  Looking at latest headlines, Violence in Syria’s Capital Even With a Cease-Fire, Pakistan test-fires a nuclear capable missile and yet at the same time a bomb has gone off at a train station in that country.

I’d like to dedicate tomorrow’s Distant Healing Group from 10-11am PST on 4/25 to cultivating Inner Peace in helping to deal with and balance outer chaos.  We did this last month and it’s a good time to repeat the intention.

I’d like to keep the whole hour as a time of meditation and sending healing energy to our own selves, families and communities with the intention of restoring an inner sense of calm.  Whether  you tune in for ten minutes or the whole hour, cultivate peace within.

From this center, waves can ripple outward, like a stone dropped in a pond.

Cultivating inner peace asks us also to look at and let go of those beliefs, habits and thoughts that don’t serve us or our relations.  What is getting in the way of a life of harmony?

Maybe it’s as simple as not having a morning cup of coffee to over stimulate our nervous system so that we are on ‘edge’ all day.  Maybe it’s saying kind words to our partners and friends, showing grattitude toward them instead of animosity.

Maybe it’s also about having loving thoughts for oneself, rather than judgements about what’s not ‘right’ with one’s body:  too fat, too thin, too old, etc.  Being ok with who you are just for that hour.

Also, looking at the judgements imposed on others, and for that hour, finding connection, rather than controversy in how we perceive the world.

If you have any thoughts during the session, you can post to my wall on FB.  To join the schedule of other distant healings, you can sign up on our meetup group.

See you tomorrow in the light!


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Play for peace

When there is tension, angst, unresolved emotions with kids and adults, here’s a simple cure to get the energy flowing in a positive direction:

  1.  Create a space where creative havoc can ensue, warning:  make sure you don’t care about things getting messy
  2. Stock with munchies like potato chips, goldfish and root beer
  3. Have lot’s of art supplies on hand:  paint, brushes, paper, canvas, etc.
  4. Start the process of painting, drawing and playing music
  5. Have no attachment to result
  6. Have musical instruments if possible (and having didjeridoos is a plus)
  7. Recorded fun music is also a good idea
  8. Old machines, like typewriters and adding machines might just add to the mayhem
  9. If you’ve got those old machines, make sure you have plenty of paper on hand
  10. Type a few words, some prose perhaps
  11. Then, tear up the paper and make ‘snowballs’
  12. Have a snowball fight while you are painting your heart out
  13. Laugh!
  14. And laugh loudly with abandon
  15. Be silly and be fearless in being silly
  16. Look like a fool and enjoy it
  17. Roll around, dance, and shake it out
  18. Feel how good that is
  19. Soak in the energy of release
  20. Enjoy the peace that follows

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A perspective on temporary vs. enduring

Currently living in a one bedroom apartment that faces an alley way that constantly has delivery, recycling and garbage trucks coming and going is not something I will ever get used to.  Living in a small space also amplifies all the appliances since they are closer in proximity:  refrigerator, dishwasher, even the toilet flushing seems obnoxious.

I bought myself and my cats a bubbling water fountain to add some degree to tranquil sound to an otherwise very city-like experience.

Yesterday morning, the blaring fire alarm for the building went off and dressed only in my pajamas and armed with my two cats in their carriers I hastily exited.  Only a few residents were still home at the time, most dressed ready to go to work.  We gathered outside which was actually a relative peaceful and sunny day.

However, no one looked to be in a good mood, disrupted from their routines, concerned about what had happened.

I sat down on the curb, cats in tow, waiting for the fire truck to come and investigate.  They found that one of the belts in the elevator had burned out, nothing more, but it could have been worse.

I had the first realization that being at the mercy of an apartment building is not a comforting feeling. It’s beyond my control.  I have a control-freak in me that is quietly revolting this thought.

I also thought that if it had been a major fire, or for that matter a natural disaster like an earthquake, which will eventually happen here in CA, at least my cats and I would be safe, and I did manage to take my lap top and cell phone with me.  My immediate needs would be to get shelter and clothes, but having volunteered with Red Cross, I know they can provide for those immediate things that need replacing.

What gave me the greatest solace was that I could return back to my home waiting for me in Seattle.  I even have another car there, my beloved Jeep, so I wouldn’t be without transportation.  If I lost this apartment and my car, I wouldn’t lose my whole life.  I started to contemplate what is temporary and what is enduring.

Material things, temporary.  Your health, home and love ones, enduring.  Your job, temporary.  Your life work, enduring.  Relationships, even though we don’t like to admit it, temporary, but true love and respect, enduring.

As I returned back to the apartment, I buried myself under the comfort of blankets and a put a hand-made eye pillow across my face.  As I placed my Reiki hands over my torso, I could feel the jostling experience of facing a possible disaster begin to leave my body as I went deeper back to sleep.

Hours later I awoke, everything seemingly back to normal:  the recycling trucks banging along, the sounds of residents walking in the hall, and the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen.

I went to a Meetup group later that evening entitled “Wise Women Celebrating their Greatness”, and it was the balm my soul needed to round out the day.  Several women, all at least ten years older than I, shared their stories of their lives, wisdom and work they do and have done.  I’ll blog more about this tomorrow, but what I was reminded of was what is truly enduring, what cannot be shaken:  it is the calling we all have within us to be who we are to the world.

That realization and experience has given me peace and a new perspective on what is really important and what is to be passed on by.

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